Heaven Can't Wait
by utterflop
Summary: Dean likes Castiel. Castiel likes... Well, it's complicated. The most important thing is that Dean really wants Cas to acknowledge his feelings towards him. How many tries will it take until Castiel gets the hint?
1. 1

Dean rested his eyes upon the flickering flame that was slowly eating up the candle wick. The little source of light bounced off of Dean's face making it appear calm and poised. Soft shadows played on his eyelids and forehead. The man sighed and rubbed his freezing hands and extended them forward out of instinct. It took a few moments for Dean to realize it and he stuffed his hands in his pockets again. He scoffed realizing that the candle provides as much heat as sock fresh out of the dryer so reaching his hands out was pointless. And yet, he still shifted loser to that tiny yellow flame.

Dean sat staring at the melted candle wax running down the side with no purpose. His eyes sometimes aimlessly wandered in the darkness for a few seconds before returning back to the previous target. There were so many things that Dean could've done during that time when the power was out but he decided to stare at the candle. The twitching light was somehow calming, as the thin wick burned down slowly melting the wax, foreign serenity washed over Dean. The man couldn't figure out what was so magical about a simple flame. Maybe it was feeding his incendiary tendencies. He tend to burn stuff often but lately, Dean didn't have many chances to light something on fire. The man's trusty lighter remained untouched for weeks, collecting dust in his pocket.

Dean's train of hazy thoughts was interrupted when the lights came back with a violent buzz. Dean squinted his green eyes that were so used to the darkness. The man lifted his head up and listened for the wind. He squinted his eyes as if it was going to help him hear better. Even if Dean was surrounded by thick concrete walls the howling sound of wind reached the man's ears. Dean sat up and instinctively walked out of the room to check on Sam but his hand stopped just before his knuckles met the hard wooden surface. The man was sleeping, it was pretty late and Sam had a schedule. Dean let out a heavy sigh and stretched his arms a bit. With nothing else on his mind, he walked to the bunker's kitchen where he collected a decent amount of food and drinks to bring into his room.

"Dean..."

The man flinched like a jolt of electricity just shocked his whole body.

"You gotta stop doing that." Dean pointed at Castiel with a beer in his hand

"My apologies." Cas did a weak bow apologetically

Dean's curious gaze scanned the man in front of him from head to toe. Castiel was soaking wet, water rapidly dripped off of his trenchcoat creating a muddy puddle beneath his shoes. Dean frowned seeing the muddy imprints on the kitchen floor that he had cleaned just a couple of hours ago.

"Man..." Dean pursed his lips annoyed "Can you go change or dry off at least?"

"This is why I was looking for you, Dean." Castiel said lowly while looking at Dean intensely like he usually did "I do not own spare clothing."

Dean let out a heavy disappointed sigh and gestured with his hand signaling Castiel to follow him. The man grabbed his food and his bear and made his way back to his room. Castiel followed the man leaving a wet trail behind him. Dean winced internally thinking about how much time it'll take to clean the floor again. The man wasn't that mad, more like slightly irritated, annoyed that Castiel doesn't own an umbrella and walks in the pouring rain. Not that angels woud get sick like humans but the fact that it was dark and Castiel was all alone when he could've been hanging out at the bunker, reading something in Enochian.

Dean dumped all the food on his bed and started digging through his clothes. They were similarly built so that wasn't a problem. Dean struggled with finding Cas something in his style but all he owned was plaid shirts and leather jackets. Dean shrugged his shoulders realizing that he's not gonna find anything remotely similar to what Castiel was wearing and grabbed his favorite combination of clothing. Dean caught himself smiling as his hand extended forward to hand Castiel dry clothes. Dean's facial expression stiffened up and his lips returned to their usual vertical line. Dean cleared his throat and sat down on his bed before grabbing the remote from the nightstand.

Dean glued his eyes to the TV and froze in one place hearing Castiel getting undressed in the middle of the room. Dean let out a soft sigh, he was used to this because no matter how much time he spent with humans the man still couldn't adapt to this behaviour. Dean's ears caught the sound of Cas' pants hitting the floor followed by a soft rustle.

Dean focused on his TV while the angel got changed. He folded his dirty clothes into a neat pile and placed it on the floor. Only when Dean felt Castiel's weight on the bed beside him the man turned his head to look at him.

"You look..." the corners of Dean's mouth twitched into a smile "Great."

"Thank you, Dean." Castiel nodded and glanced at the TV "Why must those people walk so closely next to each other?"

"Wh-" Dean's heart dropped from second of panic thinking that he accidentally switched channels

Dean's eyes peered at the screen, his fingers ready to press the off button. The man let out a quiet relieved sigh.

"I see that they're walking in repetitive patterns." Castiel squinted his eyes "That could only mean that this kind of behaviour is used in a ritual."

"No, Cas..." an airy chuckle left Dean's throat "They're just dancing."

"Dancing?" Cas glanced at Dean and tilted his head to the side curiously

Dean smiled weakly and shook his head.

"Come on, man, you never danced with someone before?"

"I..." Castiel looked down and shrugged his shoulders "I have never had the occasion, besides I don't know how."

"Come, on." an energetic smile lit up Dean's face "I'll teach you."

Without thinking Dean quickly rose from the bed dragging Castiel with him. The angel had a curious look on his face as Dean got his hands in the position.

"Okay, first-" Dean's breath got caught in his throat when the realization hit him "I- Uh... Y-you need..."

"Music?" Castiel asked

"Yeah." Dean's smile twitched nervously

The man let go of Castiel's waist and reached for the small radio on his nightstand. Once the button was pressed a smooth melody emitted from the radio.

"And to finish this late broadcast- Broomstick Cowboy by Bobby Goldsboro." the radio show host announced "Good night."

Dean stared at the radio listening to the tune. Castiel stared at Dean who suddenly seemed troubled. He turned his face away thinking that Cas cannot see it.

"So..." Dean turned around with a bright smile "Your left hand goes on my shoulder."

Castiel slowly lifted his hand up and gently placed his left hand on Dean's shoulder. The man nodded in approval, his right hand gripped Castiel's waist.

"You have to extend this arm a little." Dean slowly intertwined his fingers with Castiel's "Yeah...Like this."

Dean smiled at Castiel, the man flashed him a weak smile, he was still a little bit confused. Dean slowly stepped to the side, Castiel stumbled with him.

"One step at a time." Dean chuckled "Like this, look at my feet."

"I think I understand." Castiel murmured and followed Dean's feet carefully

"Yeah, you got this." Dean smirked

They slowly moved in the middle of the room, Castiel stepped on Dean's foot a few times but that was okay. Dean felt his fingers clutching onto Castiel's shirt unconsciously. The man cleared his throat and loosened his grip.

"Uh..." Dean wiped his sweaty palm on his jeans but Cas didn't seem to care about that

Dean moved his feet a little bit faster, still slow enough so the angel could keep up with him.

"And twirl." Dean chuckled and spun Castiel around

The man let out a soft gasp, he wasn't expecting such a violent movement and when he returned to position their chests bumped against each other. Dean's gaze flickered from Castel's blue eyes to his lips. He parted his own lips slightly to match the gap.

The music abruptly stopped and Dean jerked his head upwards. He let go of the man and smiled weakly.

"I-I think you got it now."

"Thank you, Dean." Castiel said softly, his eyes squinting slightly from his smile

"No problem, buddy." Dean patted Castel's shoulder "It's late so..."

"Of course." Castiel nodded "I'll let you rest."

"Okay." Dean nodded and cleared his throat once more

"Goodnight, Dean."

"Good night... Cas."


	2. 2

Dean's fingers lightly tapped against the Impala's wheel. he glanced at the mirror and lightly touched up his hair. The man chewed on his bottom lip nervously and glanced out the window every five seconds eager to get back on the road again. He glanced back to check if the bag on the backseat was okay. He stared at it for a few seconds before shifting his heavy gaze away. Dean ran his fingers through his hair a few times still not happy with the outcome. The man rapidly lowered his hands and sat calmly in his seat when he noticed a figure with a wrinkly trenchcoat approaching the car.

"Dean!" Cas stumbled into the car "What happened?"

"Hey, Cas." Dean smiled at his friend calmly

Cas sat panting heavily, his hair was dishevelled, the blue tie was flung over his shoulder because of how fast the man was running to Dean. He sat gripping his chest as heavy breaths escaped the angel's chapped lips. Dean found the scene humorous, he sat with a tiny smile curving the corner of his lips. Cas swallowed thickly and stared at Dean. His face shifted when he noticed Dean's tiny smirk.

"There was no emergency?" Cas almost yelled

"No." Dean chuckled to himself

Cas squinted his eyes, the man's breathing slowly calmed down. Dean chuckled again angering the angel even more.

"You think this is funny, Dean?" Cas bickered, his voice slowly breaking out of its groggy shell

"A little bit." Dean turned around with his teeth squeezing down on his bottom lip

"I do not enjoy this kind of humour." Castiel's nose wrinkled in disappointment "I thought you were hurt, I thought you were in trouble!"

"Cas, come on." Dean grabbed the angel's forearm and sat him back down when he tried to leave the car "I just wanted you to get here fast."

"You could've asked me to get here fast without telling me that it's an emergency." Cas grumbled and folded his arms across his chest

"Yeah, well." Dean smiled and nudged Cas "Where's the fun in that?"

"I still don't thinkthat this is funny." Castiel pursed his lips and pushed the man's elbow away "You know that I always come when you ask."

Dean smiled weakly, the corners of his mouth slowly dropped down. The man rubbed the back of his head and frowned. Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat and stared out the window, clearly, he was still angry. Dean let out a sigh, he started biting the insides of his cheeks nervously.

"Anyways..." Castiel broke the awkward silence between two of them "Why did you want me to come here?"

Dean's face was lit up with a childish smile again. He started the engine without saying a word and drove onto the main road leading out of the city.

"Dean..." Castiel dragged the word out more than he usually did "We are leaving the t- What are you doing?"

"You'll see." Dean murmured with a smirk stretching his lips and kept driving

Castiel stared at the trees passing them. Soon he couldn't follow one tree with his eyes anymore since there were too many to keep up.The man blinked rapidly and stared at his hands. Dean steered the Impala out of the main road and went down a dirt road leading deep into the forest. Castiel looked around nervously unsure what business they had in the middle of the forest. Dean still had the confident mysterious smile on his lips when he parked the car. Castiel climbed out of the Impala with hesitation in his movements.

The angel threw his head back. A thick layer of green shielded his eyes from the sun. A small patch of blue was lost in that green trembling mess. Dean opened the trunk and took out a folded up blanket.

"Cas, catch." Dean tossed the blanket the man's way

"Dean, what is this?" Cas' voice was pleading

He strode after the green-eyed man annoyed and confused. He hated when Dean didn't tell him anything. Usually, his spontaneous acts got them in trouble. Cas was afraid that this time it'll end up like one of those times when Dean did almost got them all killed. Dean winked at Cas playfully and picked up his pace. Cas gripped the blanket tighter in his hands and jogged after the man.

"Dean, what are we hunting?" Cas questioned, his shoes slipping as he climbed the small hill

"Hunting?" Dean glanced behind him with a smile "We aren't hunting anything this time."

"Then what is this?" Castiel furrowed his brows

Dean stopped at the top of the small hill and gestured with his hand.

"Look at this view." Dean let out a sigh as his eyes gazed upon the horizon "It's nice, isn't it?"

"Dean..." Castiel still had the tone of annoyance in his voice

Dean just smiled and grabbed the blanket from Castiel's hands. He laid the fabric neatly on the soft grass and patted the spot next to him with his hand inviting the angel to sit down. Castiel slowly approached the man and sat beside him, still grumpy though. Dean opened his bag and handed a bottle of beer for Castiel.

"Dean." Castiel said for the hundredth time "What is this?"

"This is a beer, Cas." Dean teased

Castiel squinted his eyes making Dean's childish smile drop. he cleared his throat and tried to calm down and get serious.

"This is a...uh..." Dean chuckled nervously "A da- uh, t-today is a nice day to have a picnic."

"A picnic?" Castiel let out a soft sigh "You called me saying that it was an emergency just to have a picnic? Dean, there are far more serious things we should be handling right now than-"

"Cas, relax." Dean bumped his shoulder against Castiel's softly "We deserve a day off."

"I guess..." the angel trailed off

Dean scooted sneakily scooted closer to Castile and handed him a burger from the bag. The angel nodded in gratitude. Dean had a soft smile on his lips. The sun hit his cheeks in just the right way to make his golden freckles pop out. Dean bit his lip unconsciously as he watched Castiel's lips softly press against the rim of the glass bottle. Cas glanced at Dean, the man shifted his gaze way just in time and stuffed the burger in his mouth.

"It's nice." Castiel closed his eyes against the wind "It's really beautiful here."

"It is." Dean stared at the man's pale face without blinking

"What's your favourite part about this?" Castiel opened his eyes forcing Dean to lean back

Dean blinked rapidly a few times, his eyes darted from Castiel's eyes to his lips and he leaned in without a hesitation. Castiel's eyes widened and suddenly Dean lost all of his courage.

"This..." Dean picked a tiny flower petal out of Castiel's dark hair and moved his face away

"This flower is not from here." Castiel said surprised "The wind must've blown it here and it got stuck in my hair."

"It did." Dean's lip trembled slightly "It's getting cold, we should probably get back. "

Dean stood up with a light huff and grabbed the bag. Castiel folded the blanket and walked behind the man.

"I enjoyed our time together. " Castiel had a faint smile on his lips, he glances at Dean expecting the man to look at him as well

"Yeah. " Dean nodded with a cold smile "Me too. "


	3. 3

"No, Sam. " Dean leaned back in his chair rubbing his forehead "I don't know, you're the one with the brain. "

Dean listened to the voice on the other side of the line nodding softly. The man threw his head back and listened to his brother with his phone pressed up against his ear. Suddenly, Dean's body flung forward and a mask of terror and embarrassment fell on his face.

"I am not doing that! " Dean aggressively pressed his index finger against the table "Yeah, if I have booty shorts it doesn't mean that I'm gonna wear them... "

The voice on the other side of the line chuckled making Dean crack a smile as well. He couldn't not smile when Sam was happy. The same was with Cas, sadly the man didn't smile that often. Dean went over his head in attempt to make Cas' lips stretch upwards at least a little.

Dean got off the chair and started pacing back and forth aimlessly, he was still on the phone with his brother. Sam was always giving Dean pep talk since the man tend to turn into a fourteen-year-old squealing hormonal teenage girl when he had to talk about his feelings or shut himself off and threaten to break someone's nose.

"Dean, I know that you have that stupid smile on your face and I'm not even there. " Sam let out a light chuckle

"Pff, what?" Dean scoffed and tried to contain his smile "I'm a manly man, I don't daydream about boys. "

"I didn't say anything about daydreaming, Dean. " Sam cackled

Dean pursed his lips in annoyance and rolled his eyes.

"You know... " Sam sighed "You should just go for it. "

"Sam, he's my freaking friend, I can't just... " Dean sighed "You know... "

"You hunt literal monsters but you're afraid of your feelings? " Sam let out stiff breath "Yeah... Sounds like the big brother Dean I know. "

"Shut up. " Dean groaned but couldn't help but smile at Sam's words

Sam chuckled and let out a sigh. The man was quiet for a few minutes. Dean sat down, his finger drew invisible patters on the kitchen table.

"Sammy, what do I do? " Dean whined like a needy child

"Just go for it. " Sam said

"Just like that? " Dean winced at the thought of him confronting his feelings

"No... I mean like... " Sam let out a stressed sigh "Ask him out. "

"I did! " Dean whined again

"And? "

"We're marrier now, what do you think happened, Sam?" Dean stated, his words dripping with sarcasm

"Dean, if you keep pushing it down it will eventually come back up and burst. "

"Does he like movies? " Dean murmured

"I don't know. " Sam chuckled "He's your boy-crush, not mine. "

"Bitch-" Dean glanced at his phone screen but his brother had already hung up

The man dramatically tossed the phone on the kitchen table and rubbed his face with both hands. Hunting monsters was so much easier, you just point and shoot and the problem is solved. Dean got up with a groan and walked out of his kitchen. There goes nothing.

Dean leaned against his car twirling the keys on his finger. The man wanted to glance at the mirror one last time but Castiel was already walking towards him. Dean didn't want it to seem like a date even though he secretly wished it was. He climbed into the car after giving a cold nod to Cas.

After the picnic Dean felt weird being around Castiel. He tried to kiss the angel and chickened out. Dean went over the same scenario over and over again thinking of all possible outcomes. There weren't many but all of them were heartbreaking because Dean firmly believed that Castiel sees him as nothing but a friend.

"So..." Dean cleared his throat and glanced at the angel sitting on the front seat

"Yes? " Castiel's gaze met Dean's

The man's bottom lip moved softly without a word, he cleared his throat again and focused on the road. Dean glanced at the mirror and convinced himself that it was not blush spreading across his freckled cheeks. It was just because it was warm and his body acted naturally, Dean's cheeks were rosy because of the warmth... Even though it was far from warm and the sun had hidden a long time ago.

Dean didn't say anything because he enjoyed the silence. He felt like if he broke it he would have to say something interesting but nothing laid on Dean's tongue so the man kept his mouth shut. It was kinda uncomfortable but Dean was getting used to it.

"I appreciate that you're trying to entertain your friends, Dean." Castiel turned to Dean

The man gave the angel a small nod and handed him popcorn in a paper bag. It's been a long time since he went to see a movie. Drive-in cinema was Dean's favourite because he didn't have to separate from the Impala.

Usually, Dean didn't like anyone sitting on the hood of his Baby but this time he made an exception. Both of them sat squeezed rather closely to each other, the only thing that was separating their hips was the small bag of popcorn. Dean moved his hand closer to Castiel's without moving his eyes away from the big screen. The angel didn't feel it, only when Dean's fingers gripped Castiel's hand tightly the angel noticed.

Castiel slowly turned his head Dean's direction, confusion written all over his face. Dean's heart beat rose, it was now or never. Like Sam said he had to just go for it. What did Dean have to lose? His dignity, maybe. His friendship with Cas. The unknown was killing Dean and he had to know if the feeling was mutual.

"Dean?" Castiel tilted his head to the side curiously making Dean's heart beat even faster

The man quickly leaned in knocking the bag of popcorn off the hood in the process. His right hand cupped the back of Castiel's head, Dean's left hand was still gripping Castiel's.

The angel's lips were just like Dean imagined. Soft warm... Unresponsive. Dean moved his plump lips for the last time and quickly pulled away. He stared at Castiel's face hoping for some kind of reaction but the man's face remained nonchalant.

As he was expecting. At least Dean tried. The man inhaled a ragged breath and held it in his lungs till it started burning. Dean couldn't accept the fact that he was crying.

Castiel opened his mouth sparking hope in Deans heart but the hope was soon crushed when the angel hopped off the hood of the car and started walking away.

"C... Cas? " Dean's voice trembled "Cas!"


	4. 4

Dean came back to the bunker alone. He tried going after the angel but got lost in the crowd. Dean returned to his car shortly after leaving. He sat behind the wheel, his eyelashes wet and sparkling. The man hit the wheel with his palms out of frustration and sat there with an empty gaze till the parking lot cleared. The movie had ended a long time ago, the screen was black. All the lights went out one by one leaving Dean in total darkness. The man was still staring at an empty space rethinking his life decisions.

"God, I ruin everything." Dean ran his palm over his face to get rid of the feeling of lingering tear trails

The whole time as Dean drove back home he could see Castiel's face so close in front of him. The angel's lips against his, so soft but cold. Dean wasn't expecting much, maybe just a little peck, a tiny smile. Anything... But the angel stood cold, his face emotionless as if nothing happened as if Dean didn't just kiss him. That small little kiss took all the courage the man had in him. Dean was angry at himself for being so weak when it came down to those things. He was never good atexpressing his feelings, he would just often hide it behind a mask or try to pass it as a joke.

Dean stood next to the Impala for about an hour just staring at the dark outline of the bunker. Dean couldn't admit to himself that he was scared, the man tried to convince himself that he just needed some time to think which was not true. He had plenty of time to think. At the parking lot and while he was driving. That whole time all that Dean had on his mind was Castiel. More than he usually. One good thing happened that day: at least Dean found out Cas' feelings towards him.

Dean felt a bitter taste on his tongue, his chest ached and he hated every second of it. The man entered the bunker as quietly as he could hoping that Sam is asleep by now so he wouldn't have to deal with anyone.

"Dean!" Sam greeted his brother with open arms

Sam enveloped Dean into a tight brotherly hug and gripped the man's shoulders.

"So..." Sam had a clever smile on his lips "How did it go?"

"I don't wanna talk about it..." Dean gently pushed Sam aside and made his way into the kitchen where he grabbed the last pack of beer

"Dude, what happened?" Sam tried to talk to Dean but all he got was an angry glossy-eyed glare

"I just went for it... like you said." Dean murmured quietly not wanting his voice to break again "And he just stared at me and walked away. So..."

"I'm so sorry, Dean." Sam let out a heavy sigh "Do you-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it." Dean furrowed his brows "I'm going to sleep."

"Nigh." Sam tried to squeeze out a smile

Dean glanced at his brother for a brief second and walked to his room without saying goodnight. Dean's steps slowed down as he was approaching Castiel's room. The man cursed himselfin his mind for letting Castiel's room be so close to his. Dean stood in front of the closed door trying to collect his courage. But the man's hand didn't move no matter how hard he wanted to knock. Dean wanted to talk to Castiel like a normal human being. They had to figure this out but Dean lacked courage again. The man just let out a heavy sigh and walked to his room.

Dean hit the lights and sat the beer on his bedside table. The man's eye caught something that wasn't on his bed before. Dean's facial expression shifted from pained to even more hurt when he realized that those were the clothes Castiel borrowed from him a couple of days ago. Dean picked up the shirt, it looked worn but not in a bad way. It didn't have that fresh out of the washing machine stiffness to it. Dean looked around making sure the door was closed before bringing the shirt up to his face. Dean closed his eyes and drew in a soft breath.

"What am I doing..." Dean whispered softly before pressing his whole face against the fabric

The man stood there inhaling the foreign scent that the shirt had collected. Dean peeled off his shirt and replaced it with the one he had been holding and plopped down on the bed. Dean grabbed the TV remote and surfed through the channels. He found a movie he wanted to watch and laid in his bed with a bottle of beer in his hand. The man was finally feeling somewhat peaceful but a knock on the door disturbed his rest.

"W-who is it?" Dean lifted his head up

"Dean, Sam needs your help in the basement, he said that he let out something out of a jar."

Dean's breath got caught in his throat, suddenly Castiel's voice made the same memories from before swirl in the man's mind and it was unpleasant. Dean was trying so hard to push them down and Castiel's voice was making it difficult. Dean groaned and got off the bed. He glanced at the mirror before opening the door to face the angel.

Castiel stood slouching a bit, his blue eyes glistened in the dim light making it hard for Dean to breathe normally. He licked his lips to speak but all he could do was breathe through his open mouth because Castiel's presence was suddenly magnetizing. Castiel's face seemed different, usually, it was cold, serious. Now the man had a soft glimmer in his eyes and his cheeks were warmer looking than before.

"I see that you found the clothes I had returned." Castiel spoke lowly and squeezed out a smile even though his chin was trembling

Dean nodded and left his room. His hand brushed over the handle before turning around, Dean wanted Castiel to walk away but the angel was still standing behind him. The man's eyes met Castiel's and it was really hard to fight the urge.

"Dean, about what happened today..." Castiel started, his eyes suddenly turned glossy

"What about it?" Dean put on a fake smile but it hurt his insides to see Castiel slowly breaking down

"I am sorry." Castiel's blue puppy-like eyes stared at Deans green ones "I should have never walked away like that, I was just... Confused."

"It's alright." Dean let out an empty chuckle and patted Castiel's shoulder "It's all a-okay."

"Dean, stop it." Castiel gripped Dean's arm and yanked him closer not letting Dean walk away

"Cas, I said it's fine." Dean grumbled making the angel's eyes glisten with tears even more

"It's not." Castiel shifted his glossy gaze away "Talk to me."

"I said.." Dean pushed the angel away annoyed "Its fine."

The angel pressed his lips together to stop the bottom one from trembling. His mouth opened and closed quickly like the man wanted to say something but the tremor in his body prevented the words from coming out.Castiel reached his hand out to stop Dean from walking away but the man was quicker. He quickly walked down the hall. Dean's pace quickened when he heard loud banging and glass breaking in the basement. Castiel caught up with him.

Dean's worried thoughts about Castiel evaporated for a second because his mind focused on the fact that Sam might be in danger.


	5. 5

"Dean! "

"He's not breathing, Sam. "

"Damn it, Cas, do something! "

"Sam-"

"Do something! "

Dean struggled to keep his eyes open. All the sounds surrounding him merged into one low hum, all the colours in front of him looked like a messy pallet.

"Am I... " Dean's eyes slowly closed "Dead?"

"Dean, stay awake... " The voice slowly faded

"Stay awake..."

"But it's so hard and the light seems so peaceful..."

Dean reached for the burning light, it sucked him in and enveloped the man's whole body into a warm blanket. Suddenly flashes of black and red jumped all around behind his closed eyelids but the storm of colours calmed down soon and turned into nothingness. Nothing but black. Dean closed his tired eyes and let out a relieved sigh. For the first time in thirty years, he felt calm, shaken off of all his worries and troubles. The cruel cold world out there somewhere didn't matter anymore. All the trouble washed away. Dean was in heaven.

A loud annoying screech disturbed Dean's peaceful sleep. The man let out an annoyed groan and reached his arm out to smash whatever was making that noise. His tight fist collided with a small ringing device smashing it into tiny plastic pieces. Dean rolled over and buried his face in the pillow. It smelled nice, like one of those expensive fabric softeners on the TV. Dean never got to buy it because he and Sam were too busy hunting werewolves and sparkling creatures of the night and nice smelling laundry wasn't their top priority.

Dean chuckled, still half asleep. The sheets were incredibly soft and light as feathers. As much as the man likedlaying in bed awake doing nothing he had to get up because his stomach sounded like an awful marching band during the final rehearsal. Dean inhaled the lavender scent once more before lifting himself up and opening his eyes.

"Now, this is just awful." The man smiled at the terrible floral patterns on the sheets

The man chuckled softly and smoothed down the pillow. He couldn't believe that he agreed to buy those pillow covers. They were just awful, floral sickeningly cute patterns that Dean was so used to seeing while watching sappy romantic comedies. He stared at the bed smiling to himself. No matter how hideous the covers were he liked them. It added a speck of sweet romance to his life. The man stared at another side of the bed which was as messy as the side he was sleeping currently in. Dean squinted his eyes. Was he sleeping with someone? Dean just shrugged his shoulders, it was probably his head imprint on that other pillow.

Dean stretched before walking out the door, his joins let out satisfying popping sounds as he did that. The man yawned all the way to the kitchen. he was awake but the bed was still calling. Dean was considering skipping breakfast and taking a nap but his gut was churning painfully. Dean's bare feet tapped against the cold tile floor. The kitchen was silent, the playful morning sun bathed the area in bright golden light. Dean squinted his eyes and looked around the kitchen for a bowl.

"Whatever..." Dean sighed not able to find any bowls "Toast it is then..."

The man grabbed the bread which he was able to find and tossed two slices into the toaster. He made himself a cup of coffee while he waited for the toast to gain that beautiful golden brown colour. He didn't like his toast burnt.

Dean frowned biting into a dry toast, he couldn't find any butter either. It was like all the food evaporated from the kitchen. Dean looked around the house. He felt good but kinda weird. It felt like something was off but the man couldn't wrap his mind around it. Something was off but the harder Dean tried to figure out the more insignificant it became till the man forgot that something bothered him in the first place. His life was good so what was the point in trying to create a chicken out of a feather?

Dean tossed the bread aside, he couldn't eat the toast without any butter. The man quietly sipped his coffee and looked out the window with a faint smile gracing his lips. Something was still missing. It was so tiny and seamless but the longer Dean thought about it the bigger it became. It was like a puzzle piece just brutally ripped out of his head leaving a blank space.

Dean got lost in his thought, the time ran quicker than he wanted it to run. It was already noon and Dean hadn't left the kitchen. Well, the noon came quickly because Dean slept until the sun was blazing high up in the sky. Dean decided that it's time to do something productive, maybe clean around the house or try to find something to fix...

At first, Dean didn't notice the framed pictures on the walls. His gaze just shifted past them as the man walked by. Only a couple of hours later Dean decided to take a look. The pictures seemed to be everywhere and not knowing what was in those photos was bugging him. Dean grabbed a random picture from the desk in his bedroom and almost dropped it. He stared at the picture smiling in confusion because he didn't recall him and Cas going to the Bahamas.

"Look at this...Heh..." Dean's smile slowly dropped in realization

The man looked at his hand noticing a golden ring on his finger. The man's eyebrows curled upwards, confusion didn't leave his face it just intensified. Dean stared at the golden band around his digit with his mouth open wide like a cartoon character. Dean stormed downstairs to look at the pictures above the fireplace.

Married. He was happily married and liked travelling. At least that was what the pictures showed him. Dean gently ran his fingers across the glass surface, his eyes slowly swelling with tears. He quickly placed the picture back and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He finally realize what was off. castiel never loved him and marrying the man would make no sense. All of this was not real. Dean was in a dream, probably dead and this was his heaven.

Dean ran his hand through his hair nervously, he had to get back. He had to get back to Sammy, there was no point in being dead. Dean looked around searching for a door, a door that was oddly out of place but before his eyes could wander around Dean heard the front door open. The man's heart dropped hearing the familiar footsteps.

"I'm home! " Dean's heart throbbed painfully at the sound of keys setting on the table

The sound was so domestic and unnatural. Dean clutched his fists tightly, scared of his own heaven because he knew what Castiel really felt. And yet, he was walking through the door, wearing an ugly blue sweater, his arms open wide. Dean didn't respond to the hug. Neither did he respond to the little peck on the lips. It was all fake, The blue eyes clouded with worry.

"What's wrong? " Castiel's voice was little higher than usual, calmer

"I'm... " Dean breathed out heavily, his chest convulsing with pain

"Did you eat? " Castiel's palm cupped Dean's cheek with the strength of a feather

The man melted into the touch. He shook his head lightly, a rosy hue painted his cheeks.

"Why? "

Dean closed his eyes and let the tears seep out through his dense lashes. He didn't felt like crying but at the same time he wanted to scream into a pillow and shred the whole world into tiny pieces.

"Oh, Dean." Castiel quickly enveloped the man into a warm hug "Tell me what happened. "

"Nothing. " Dean murmured, his fingers clinging onto Castiel "Everything's great. "

Castiel gently patted Dean's back and pulled away. Dean smiled through his tears and let the man wipe them away. So what that it was all fake? It felt real enough to Dean. Why would he want to come back? He had everything here. A home, a husband. Judging by the wedding photos it was dope and everything else was just peachy.

"I'll cook you something. " Castiel smiled softly "What do you want? "

"Doesn't matter. " Dean smiled, tears brimming his green eyes again

"Take-out? " Castiel chuckled "If you don't mind. "

"Take-out is fine. " Dean nodded with a smile


	6. 6

Dean listened to the crackling of the fire. Castiel's fingers tangled in his short hair soothingly. Dean let out a deep sigh and pressed his body closer to the man's tightening the embrace. There was nothing he ever wanted more and it felt like he finally found peace. Living a happy married life for eternity didn't seem bad. It was just what Dean needed. No hunting, no monsters, no more family business.

Someone somehow had to ruin it. Dean was about to fall asleep when his body jerked awake. He was blinded by a bright light. Dean held onto Castiel but he dispersed into the air with a click leaving a trail of colourful smoke. Dean's eyes widened in panic, he clenched his fists to fight. The bright figure approached quickly raising fear in Dean's heart, a jolt of panic shook his body.

"Dean. " The man heard the familiar groggy voice

A firm hand gripped his left shoulder and the light disappeared when the door the figure came from closed. Dean's eyes widened, even more, seeing the face that was too familiar in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" Dean's bottom lip trembled lightly, he looked around in panic

"I came here to get you, Dean." Castiel's grip tightened

"No." Dean shook his head lightly and pushed Castiel's hand off

"What do you mean..." Castiel squinted his eyes "No?"

"I mean..." Dean inhaled sharply "I don't want to go back."

"But Dean-" Castiel strode forward

"No!" Dean grumbled "I have everything that I need here."

Castiel blinked in confusion, his cerulean orbs sparkling in the dim light. Dean sneakily scanned Castiel's body, he was used seeing the man in ugly sweaters and now the trenchcoat looked completely out of place.

"Sam needs you." Castiel's voice had a pleading note "I- We need you back, Dean."

"I'm tired." Dean's voice faltered "I'm tired of chasing the wind, Cas. What is my life? We're constantly messing things up and then mess everything up, even more, trying to fix ourprevious mistakes.And here? Here I can finally live a normal healthy life."

Castiel furrowed his brows, the pleading glimmer in his eyes disappeared. He strode forward and grabbed Dean's collar, tugging at it violently.

"Do you have no sense of responsibility?" Castiel's voice rose "Sam is out there going over his head trying to get you back! "

Dean let out a soft chuckle, a sorrowful smile graced his lips. The man freed himself out of Castiel's grasp and smoothed down his shirt.

"Sometimes you just gotta let go." Dean said quietly "Sometimes you just have to move on."

"No." Castiel said coldly

Dean scoffed, a questioning look appeared on his face.

"You don't get to chose for me." Dean pointed at himself "I choose for me and my decision is to stay dead."

"You don't understand-" Castiel started

"No." Dean cut the man off "No, no, no. It's you who don't understand. Out there nothing awaits me. I've been stabbed, I've been shot, beaten to death, mauled by dogs. I went to hell, Cas. All those times I went straight to hell but now that I finally have a shot at living normally I will not risk losing it."

"It's not real, Dean."

"It's real enough for me." the man's eyes swell with tears "I have a house, a normal life, a job, a husband and I'm happy! I'm not going back."

Castiel's face shifted, he glanced at Dean and squinted his eyes at the pictures on the walls.

"Husband?" Castiel questioned, his eyes slightly wider than before

Dean's had the mask of pure panic and terror on his face, the man tried stepping to the side to prevent the angel from seeing the pictures but it was too late. Castiel stepped forward pushing Dean aside.

"You don't-" Dean's voice got caught in his throat "There's nothing- You- You should leave."

Castiel shook Dean's hand off and grabbed one of the pictures. Dean bit his lip nervously, his clenched palms sweaty. Castiel examined the framed picture closely, his face showing no clear emotion. The angel was concentrated, clearly thinking about something deeply.

"That's enough of that." Dean snatched the item out of Castiel's hands and carefully placed it back "You have to leave."

A soft smile graced the angel's lips, it was contrasting with the tears filling his sky-blue eyes. He glanced down at his feet Confusing Dean even more. Castiel sucked in a shallow breath and finally managed to look back up. Dean's gaze shifted from place to place, he didn't want to look the man in the eyes because if he did Dean would've broken down.

"This is..." Castiel quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and grabbed another picture frame "This is your heaven?"

"I'm happy here." Dean pressed his lips tightly together, his chin trembled

"Why didn't you..." Castiel trailed off, his fingers brushing over the picture

"Why didn't I tell you?" Dean rolled his eyes and let out an empty chuckle "What do you think I've been trying to do for the past three years?"

"I haven't noticed." Castiel murmured

"Yeah, exactly." Dean took the picture frame out of the angel's hands

Castiel stared at Dean without saying a word, his mouth opened to say something but closed again since he couldn't think of anything to say.

"I'm sorry." Castiel sighed "Please, you have to go back. You have to go home."

"No." Dean smiled softly "This is my home now. This is my final decision."

"You are truly happy here?"

"Yes." Dean nodded "I mean, it sucks being dead but..."

Castiel nodded weakly. Dean nervously picked at his nails waiting for Castiel to leave.

"I cannot change your mind..." Castiel said quietly

"Yeah."

The angel lifted his head up and looked at the man with hope in his eyes.

"But I can at least try."

Dean opened his mouth to reply with a witty remark but Castiel's mouth matched the gap on the man's lips. Dean stepped back in confusion, his legs wobbled a bit before regaining balance. Castiel's slender fingers gripped the back of Dean's neck deepening the kiss. And it was real. It wasn't just a part of Dean's heaven.

The angel pulled away breathing heavily, his hooded eyes still partially closed meanwhile Dean's were wide open. Castiel had a dreamy smile on his lips. Dean mumbled something incoherently, his tongue incapable of constructing words.

"What if..." Castiel sighed, his lips curled into a smile "We create our own heaven... Back on Earth."

"What do you mean by we?" Dean swallowed the lump in his throat "Cas... Do you have feelings for me?"

Castiel let out a sigh followed by a soft chuckle. He glanced at the man in front of him with a child-like smile on his lips.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me then?" Dean scoffed

"Maybe we are both a little childish." The angel spoke

"Can... Can I just leave like that?" Dean looked around "I mean... The wedding-"

"Dean." Castiel grabbed Dean's hand "Let's go."

Dean tapped his foot nervously against the floor, his fingers twitched wanting to grab Cas by the tie. And so he did.

"Screw it." Dean murmured before connecting his lips with the angel's

Castiel leaned back a bit, Dean's hand gripped his waist tightly not letting him fall. Castiel broke the kiss for a brief second just so he could wrap his arms around the man. Dean saw a bright light behind his eyelids and soon a light breeze hit his face.

Dean opened his eyes and found himself standing in an angelic embrace outside the bunker. Castiel pressed his forehead lovingly against Dean's before planting another tender kiss on the man's lips. Dean's lips twitched into a smile, he unglued his gaze from the man's eyes and looked around.

"Sammy." Dean exhaled heavily

The tall man was leaning against the Impala, he had dark circlesunder his eyes but the man looked happy. He let out an airy chuckle and waved weakly.

"Welcome back." Sam smiled

Dean quickly let go of Castiel realizing that they were still pressed against each other. Dean wiped his palms against his jeans nervously andlooked at Sam waiting for his reaction. The man smirked devilishly and tapped his fingers against the hood of the car. He tilted his head to the side in a cocky manner and let out a small laugh.

"I knew it." Sam said stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans confidently "I always knew it."

End.


End file.
